A TONIC FOR FOOD FACTORIES, HACK HOUSES & BAD FOOD IN GENERAL.
TRADES ENCOURAGED. PAPER ACCEPTED. BRIBES REFUSED.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

#016


IT'S NOT FOR ME, IT'S FOR MARIE.
THE WIFE HAS A STRONG AFFINITY FOR CHICKEN SALAD SANDOS. EARLIER THIS EVENING, I INDULGED HER CRAVING WITH WHAT MAY BE OUR BEST BATCH TO DATE. RIGHT NOW, WE'RE GONNA TAKE A FEW MINUTES TO BLATHER ABOUT HOW THIS HOLIEST OF HOLY CHICKEN SALADS CAME TO LIFE...










1 CHICKEN, OF QUALITY UPBRINGING
1 BUNCH CELERY
1 BUNCH PARSLEY
1 BAY LEAF
A FEW SPRIGS OF THYME
1 LEMON
FRESH BLACK PEPPERCORNS
SALT
A GENEROUSLY MEASURED PINT OF MAYONAISE


GATHER ALL THE INGREDIENTS. START WITH THE BIRD. IF YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH THE GIBLETS, SET THOSE ASIDE FOR ANOTHER TIME. RINSE THE CAVITY IF NECESSARY. SET THE BIRD IN A GOOD SIZE SOUP OR STOCK POT. COVER WITH COLD WATER. ADD THE BAY, THYME AND A FEW BLACK PEPPERCORNS.


START THE POT ON A MEDIUM FLAME. BRING THE WATER TO A GOOD SIMMER AND COVER. NOW LET'S FOCUS ON THE REST OF THE INGREDIENTS.






START WITH THE CELERY. BEGIN BY CUTTING AWAY THE TOPS AND TAIL. THE TAIL CAN GO IN THE TRASH. SOME PEOPLE USE THE TOPS FOR STOCKS. SOME PEOPLE FIND THE TOPS -ESPECIALLY THE LEAFY PARTS- IMPART A BITTER QUALITY AND DISCARD THEM. UP TO YOU. 


NOW, WASH AND THEN PEEL THE FIBROUS EXTERIOR OF THE REMAINING RIBS. ONCE ALL THE CELERY IS PEELED, ROUGHLY CHOP AND THROW A COUPLE STALKS INTO THE POT WITH THE BIRD. SMALL DICE THE REMAINING CELERY AND SET IT ASIDE IN A LARGE MIXING BOWL.


BRING THE PARSLEY. WASH, DRY AND PICK THE THE LEAVES FROM THE STEMS. THROW A FEW OF THE STEMS INTO THE POT WITH THE CHICKEN. RESERVE THE REST FOR A FUTURE STOCK. ROUGHLY CHOP THE LEAVES AND ADD THEM TO THE BOWL WITH THE CELERY.


NEXT THE LEMON. WITH A MICROPLANE, ZEST THE ENTIRE OUTSIDE OF THE LEMON OVER THE CELERY AND PARSLEY. SET THE LEMON ASIDE. SAVE FOR SQUEEZING.


TAKE A MOMENT TO CHECK ON THE BIRD. HOW'S HER BATH? IS IT TOO HOT? IS SHE BOILING TO A DRY, AWFUL DEATH? IS IT TOO LOW? IS SHE GONNA GET SICK? IS HER WATER ALL SCUMMY? DO YOU NEED TO SKIM IT? REMEMBER TO HAVE AN EYE ON HER, EVEN WHEN YOUR BACK IS TO HER.








OKAY. BRING THE MAYO. ADD IT ALL TO THE CELERY AND THE WHAT NOT. GET EVERYTHING NICELY INCORPORATED. TASTE, SEASON, COVER AND SET IN THE FRIDGE.


IF YOUR CHICKEN ISN'T READY YET, IT WILL BE SHORTLY. WHEN IT IS. TURN OFF THE FLAME. MOVE THE POT AWAY TO A COOL BURNER AND ALLOW THE CHICKEN TO REST IN THE COOKING LIQUID. THIS STEP CAN NOT BE OVER EMPHASIZED. MEATS THAT ARE COOKED IN LIQUID, MUST BE ALLOWED TO REST IN THAT LIQUID, UNTIL THEY ARE COOL ENOUGH TO HANDLE. THIS STEP ENSURES THAT ALL OF THE FLAVORS AND NATURAL JUICES ARE ABSORBED BACK INTO THE FIBERS OF THE MEAT.







ONCE THE CHICKEN IS READY TO COME OUT OF THE LIQUID, SET IT OUT ON A PLATE AND ALLOW IT TO COOL COMPLETELY. WHILE THE CHICKEN IS COOLING, STRAIN THE COOKING LIQUID INTO A SMALLER STOCK POT AND REDUCE THIS INTO A FLAVORFUL CHICKEN STOCK. 


NOW, BRING THE BIRD. SKIN IT, AND PICK EVERY LAST TENDER MORSEL OF CHICKENY GOODNESS INTO THE BOWL WITH THE MAYONAISE JAMS. YOU CAN THROW THE PICKED BONES BACK IN WITH THE REDUCING STOCK.


GET EVERYTHING MIXED WELL AND SEASON TO TASTE. MAYBE A SQUEEZE OF LEMON.? MAYBE ANOTHER PINCH OF SALT.? MARIE AND I ENJOYED THIS WITH SLICED AVOCADO ON TOASTED BREAD AND DRANK ARNOLD PALMERS. A LITTLE SUMMER IN JANUARY. GOOD TIMES.

CHEERS.
-PETE




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